


To Love so Deeply...

by theRavenMuse



Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: F/M, Force Bond (Star Wars), Kylo Ren Redemption, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-27
Updated: 2020-06-27
Packaged: 2021-03-04 03:46:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 4
Words: 3,788
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24947098
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/theRavenMuse/pseuds/theRavenMuse
Summary: When Ben Solo can't save Rey, no on knows the truth about what happened when they faced the emperor on Exegol. Is anyone left to believe in him? Is anyone left to give him a chance?
Relationships: Poe Dameron/Finn, Rey/Ben Solo
Comments: 1
Kudos: 12





	1. Chapter 1

Ben carried her limp body out of the emperors auditorium. Tears streamed down his face, too many to quell the flow.   
He lowered her gently to the ground as resistance fighters circled him with their weapons drawn and leveled with his chest. He sank to his knees beside her, wiping a bit of dried blood from her face.   
He didn’t struggle as the resistance fighters cuffed his hands behind his back with energy binders and pulled him away towards a waiting ship. The binders cut him off from the force almost completely, but he didn’t mind. Without her, what was left anyway?  
The stormtrooper, she had called him Finn, stood by the ramp. Ben glanced up as he passed. The man’s face was full of anger and pain. It was a feeling that Ben was all too familiar with. Now though, he only felt a deep sadness. 

Ben sat in the corner of the cell, his knees were drawn up to his chest and his forehead rested on them. They had removed the binders once they had him in the energy field cell. The cut off from the force was complete now. He couldn’t sense anyone beyond the cell bars and no one outside could sense him... not that anyone was left that could have.   
A quick rapping on the bars startled him out of his state of self pity. Finn was standing outside.  
“Why?”   
Ben hung his head.  
“She trusted you! She saved you on Kef Bir and you killed her!”  
“I didn’t kill her,” Ben said quietly, hoping he would believe. “I didn’t kill her but I couldn’t save her either. Palpatine was too strong.”  
“That’s bullshit!” Finn screamed. “I wish you would stay locked in here for the rest of your life to rot! But Poe says they’ll probably behead you and he’s usually right about these things.”  
Ben lowered his head back down to rest on his knees again. Finn kept up his tirade for a few more minutes while Ben ignored him. Finally, he’d had enough and stormed off. 

His next visitor was a friendly face from another lifetime. “Hey kid, how are you holding up?”  
“Lando?” Ben gasped. He stood and crossed the small space despite his previous intentions to spend the time he had left in self loathing.  
“Kid, I don’t know what happened out there, but if you tell me right now that you didn’t kill that girl I’ll believe you.”  
“I didn’t.” Ben cried quietly.   
Lando smiled softly and reached through the bars to wipe a tear from Ben’s cheek. Ben sobbed and leaned into the touch.   
“I know, kid. I know. But they think you did. They’ve set a trial for tomorrow at sunrise. The higher ups are already calling for the death penalty.”  
Ben swallowed back the tears as best he could. “They can’t. I can’t die.”  
“Ben...”  
“No, it’s not that. It’s Rey. She’s not gone. Not completely. I don’t know why. I need to speak with Luke before I die so that I can save her. I can’t reach him from in here. The barrier is way too strong. Please.”  
Lando pulled Ben into him, embracing him through the bars. “I promise you, I’ll do everything that I can.”

“Ben, wake up.”  
Ben blinked groggily. He could see the night sky shining through a window outside of his cell.   
The lock clicked on the cell door and Ben sat up to see Lando and…  
“Finn?”   
The ex-stormtrooper glared at him as he stood. He ignited the lightsaber in his hand, Anakin’s saber, and leveled it with Ben’s chest.   
“I still hate you and I always will, but Lando says you can bring Rey back. Can you?”  
“I think so.” Ben said, his voice steadier than it had been since her death.   
Finn huffed one last time and extinguished the blade. “Come on.”  
The world came crashing back as Ben stepped through the force barrier. He exhaled sharply as he felt it again, the cold void that should have been Rey.   
“So the plan is?”  
“The plan is Rose is watching the corridor back in that direction, Lando’s going to watch in that direction, and I’m watching you. You don’t need to go any farther than this.”  
Ben nodded and lowered himself down to sit cross legged on the floor.  
“Try and be less prickly, it’ll help me concentrate.”  
Finn huffed in response.   
Ben closed his eyes and focused on his breath. In one, out two, in three. The force flowed through him like a river. Now it was his task to find a single form in the chaos. How does one do that? You lessen the chaos. Time slowed around him. The river's current stalled to slow flow. The movement was less, but the river was still vast.   
“Luke,” he whispered. “Luke I need you.” Ben couldn’t help but smile as the familiar presence approached. He opened his eyes and stood to face his old master.  
“You called for me?” Luke sounded surprised.   
“I need your help. I lost Rey. I don’t know what happened. She died, but she isn’t gone. Her spirit still lingers, somewhere, but I can’t find it.”  
Luke smiled softly. “It’s in you, Ben. The two of you share a bond unlike any I’ve ever seen. You can restore her, but it may take everything that you have.”  
“That doesn’t matter to me. She deserves to live. I don’t.”  
“Why not?”  
“You know the things that I’ve done. My life isn’t worth living.”  
“Would Rey agree with you on that?” Luke asked.   
Ben sighed deeply and sank back down to the ground.   
“What about your mother?”  
“I’ve caused too much pain! Every person I hurt in the past hurt me too! I can’t live with it anymore!” Kylo growled, standing up again to face the old Jedi.  
“Rey has already forgiven what you’ve done. If you truly care about her, you’ll learn to do the same.” With that. Like vanished without warning.


	2. Chapter 2

Two guards appeared at his cell as the first hint of light appeared on the horizon. They put the binders on in front of him this time and led him out into what he assumed was the base’s landing zone.   
A crowd of people parted to let them pass into a circular gap, ten feet in diameter. On the other side of the circle, a table stood on a makeshift platform.  
The pilot turned general, Poe Dameron, sat in the center of that table with his boots propped up. As the guards brought Ben forward, he stood. If looks could kill, this one would have. The guards forced Ben down to his knees in the center off the circle.  
“Kylo Ren, Supreme Leader of the First Order, listing all of your crimes is laughable at this point, so let’s not waste the time. How do you plead?”  
“Everything you could accuse me of, I probably did it. If I didn’t, that doesn’t mean I wouldn’t have. But there is one exception. I didn’t kill Rey. Execute me if you want, but there’s something I need to do first.”  
“What? Did you miss a village to slaughter?”  
“I can save Rey. I can bring her back.”  
Poe paused a moment, a glimmer of hope danced in his eyes, and then he shoved it away.   
“That’s bullshit!” He laughed, pointing a finger at Ben. He looked around the crowd of faces, encouraging them to join in.  
“I don’t care about you, but I care about her. Let me save her.” Ben begged.   
“If you could do it why wait this long? Why not do your Jedi magic tricks from the start?”  
“Because I didn’t know how then, but I do now. At least let me try. What have you got to lose.”  
“Well, let me think, how are you going to do anything with those binders on? Let’s start with I could lose everyone on this base that you could kill with a snap of your fingers the second I take those off.”  
“Then take me somewhere else. I don’t give a damn about killing anyone.  
“So you expect me to gamble the lives of every person here, on the maybe that you can bring one friend back? The math doesn’t add up.”  
“It’s not a maybe, Poe.” Finn stepped up. “He can do it.”  
“Finn? What the hell? What makes you think that?”  
“Because I helped him talk to Luke Skywalker last night.”  
“What?!” Poe yelled. Murmurs started to spread through the crowd.  
“And he isn’t going to kill anyone. I know because he could have done that last night too when the whole base was sleeping, but he didn’t.”  
“Finn, what the hell?”  
“She’s my friend Poe. I was willing to take a risk for her, are you?”  
Poe frowned deeply at his friend. He cursed and jumped down off of the stage. The man was a firestorm as he approached. His eyes threatened to burn holes through Ben’s as he stared deep into them. Ben kept his own gaze as even as he could.   
“You can save her? Not maybe? Not probably? You can definitely bring her back?”  
“Yes.” Ben confirmed. He begged, pleaded for the pilot to believe him.  
Poe huffed in disbelief. And then he nodded. “Okay. Do it.”

Ben sat beside Rey and pulled her lifeless form into his lap. Tears fell despite his efforts to hold them. He placed a hand on her abdomen and focused his breathing. In one, out two, in three. He reached deep inward, and he found her. She was like a bright spark in the middle of his darkness. His own Rey of sunlight. He guided her gently back out through his hand and into her own being.   
His own life force followed. It strengthened her body as his own grew weaker. He was running out of fuel. No. It had to be enough. He had to be enough. Growing desperate, he gathered everything he had and passed it onto her. Her warm hand moved to cover his own. He opened his eyes to find her looking back up at him. Ben smiled and laughed softly as she sat up to face him.  
“Ben?” She asked. Her voice betrayed her disbelief, her amazement, her love.  
She leaned forward and kissed him. One last fleeting perfection to end his world. He could feel himself fading, falling back.


	3. Chapter 3

Ben blinked open his eyes. Rey held one of his hands in her own. In his other, Finn. Ben groaned and sat up.  
“How is this happening? I gave you everything I had. I shouldn’t be here.”  
“Finn saved you. Well, and me, but it was Finn's idea.   
“One life force can’t support two but maybe two can support three. Looks like it worked.”  
Ben turned to study Finn's face.  
“Why?”  
“Because Rey loves you. And the only reasons you have for dying are selfish ones so fuck that.”  
Ben turned to Rey and smiled before glancing back to Finn.  
“Hey don’t let me stop you,” Finn chuckled, backing up with his hands raised in mock surrender.  
Ben laughed softly and pulled Rey in for another kiss. This one was deep, and long, and if it never ended, the rest of Ben’s life would have been perfect. Unfortunately, he was alive again, and that meant he had to breath.   
“Enough,” Poe demanded as they broke apart. “The trial will continue. Binders.” Poe motioned for the guard.   
“No.” Rey started  
“Rey stop!” Ben said with enough insistence that she hesitated long enough for them to pull Ben up and cuff him again.   
“Poe! What the hell!” Finn yelled.  
“He’s already confessed to, what was it again,” Poe motioned to a man taking notes at the end of the table.   
“Everything you could accuse me of, I probably did it. If I didn’t, that doesn’t mean I wouldn’t have.”   
“Yeah that sounds about right. And luckily, the council already deliberated on sentencing last night in anticipation of you most definitely being guilty. There’s no punishment in the galaxy harsh enough for the crimes you’ve committed, and the new republic has laws against torture, so the death sentence it is.  
“He saved my life. Surely that makes up for something.”  
“If he had made a deal of some sort before, maybe.”  
“Her life isn’t mine to bargain with.” Ben said, slightly pissed that the pilot would even suggest such a thing.  
“There, you see. Bring him up here.” Poe motioned to his guards.  
“No!” Rey screamed. She called Leia’s and Luke’s sabers from where they hung on Finn’s hip and ignited them with a flourish. The guards had the sense to back away. “I just got him back and I’m not going to lose him because you’re on some power trip, Poe!”  
“It’s not a power trip! It’s me leading because Leia’s gone!”  
Rey sliced back with Luke’s saber, cutting the binders from Ben’s wrists. She held the saber out to him. “Go, get out of here, I’ll find you.”  
“No,” Ben refused.  
Rey growled and tossed the saber to Finn who caught it. “Get him out of here.” Finn nodded and ignited the saber.  
“No.” Ben insisted. “I spent the first half of my life screwing everything up, I’m not spending the rest of it running from those mistakes.”  
A single tear streaked down her cheek. Ben reached up and wiped it gently away. He planted a single soft kiss on her lips and placed his hand over Rey’s on the saber.  
“It’s okay,” he whispered.  
Rey nodded slightly and extinguished the blade. Behind him, Finn did the same.   
Two guards walked up behind Ben and grabbed an arm each. He let them lead him up to the foot of the stage, where Poe’s plans were interrupted by a stern looking woman in a dark blue dress.  
“General, if I may, that sentence was decided upon before today’s happenings. I propose we deliberate again and take into account these events.”  
“I second that proposal.”  
“All in favor?” Most of the council raised their hands.   
Poe growled in dismay. “Fine. Return the prisoner to his cell for the time being. “


	4. Chapter 4

Rey gasped as Ben crossed the barrier into the cell. He flinched himself as his bond to Rey was cut off. This was a lot more painful when he had someone to lose. Almost as bad as when he had really lost her back on Exegol. Only the sight of her alive and well made it bearable.   
“It’s okay.” He promised. He reached through the bars and wove his fingers between hers.   
Hours later, they were sitting cross legged, facing each other with only the space of the cell bars between them.   
Rey looked up in surprise and a moment later, the door opened and Poe entered. She jumped up and turned to face him. Ben didn’t need a force bond to know she was about to let him have it. He stood up more slowly behind her.  
Before she could start, Poe raised his hands. “I don’t want to fight.”  
“Why are you here?”  
“Because I needed to talk to you. I thought I was just doing my job, but I got carried away. I’m sorry.”  
Rey relaxed slightly.   
“They’re still talking?”  
“Yes. From the looks of it, this could be an all day thing, maybe longer. But, they’ve ruled out the death penalty.”   
Rey exhaled in relief.   
“Also, you just came back from the dead and I haven’t given you a hug yet. That’s really criminal.”  
Rey laughed softly and threw her arms around the pilot. Poe returned the embrace. When Poe pulled away, he turned to Ben.  
“When she called you Ben, I thought it was just an act, but then I remembered the look in your eyes. I didn’t believe it was possible for people to change like that.”  
“It is, if they have a reason.”   
“Leia.” Poe said. “Maz told us that she gave everything to reach you. I didn’t believe it, but she saved you, didn’t she?”  
Ben nodded.   
“Can I talk to her? The way you talked to Luke?”  
“No...” Ben said cautiously. “After they pass on, it takes time for them to find their way back.”  
“So how long?”  
“That’s not an easy question to answer. Some come back after a few days, some a few years, some never do. But you don’t need me to talk to her. She can speak with anyone she wants to.”  
“So what’s with the wacky force stuff then?”  
“There’s two aspects of force interaction, observation and alteration. People like Rey and I can do both, but anyone or anything living can observe the force. You just have to learn the right state of mind.”  
“Really? Rey, can you teach me?”  
Rey laughed nervously. “Look, Poe, I’m gonna be honest. I only trained with Leia for less than a year. Ben trained with Luke for, what? Twelve years?”  
“Thirteen if you round up.”  
“I have no idea what he’s talking about half the time. He’s way better at this stuff than me.”  
“Really?” Poe asked again. 

Rey refused to leave Ben all night. When Finn found out he brought her an armful of pillows and blankets which she refused to sleep on. She paced back and forth in front of his door. Ben sat inside with his back pressed into a corner. He couldn’t sleep either, but he was better than her at containing his nerves.   
Eventually, the stone floor made him sore enough that he moved to laying on the bed but he still couldn’t sleep. He would have given anything to connect to Rey through their bond and he knew she felt the same.   
As the morning sun broke over the horizon again, Lando appeared. Good morning. I brought breakfast.   
“I’m not hungry,” Rey and Ben said at the same time.   
“Oh great, now there’s two of you,” Lando muttered under his breath.   
“Any news from the council?” Rey asked.  
“No. They were up into the early morning before they called a recession. No ones saying anything.”  
Ben sighed and slumped back against the bed.   
“It’s not all bad news though. I brought you something, kid.”  
Ben sat up, curious.   
Lando held up the pair of gold dice from the Millennium Falcon. Ben stood and reached through the bars for them.  
Lando pulled them back just out of reach. “Eat first.” He commanded, sliding one of the plates of food through the gap in the door.  
Ben huffed in annoyance, but grabbed the plate and started eating.   
“This is extortion.” He said when he was two bites in, but at that point he’d realized he was actually hungry and finished the rest without protest.  
Lando chuckled and tossed the dice through the bars. Ben caught them with a smile and twisted the chain around his fingers  
“Han said you used to love playing with those as a kid.”  
“Of course. What five year old doesn’t dream of a life of smuggling and gambling?”  
Lando chuckled. “Personally, I dreamed of a life where I was born rich and lived happily to a ripe old age, but here we are.”

It had been two days now that the council had been deliberating. The sun was starting to set. Finn had managed to find a ball small enough to fit between the cell bars and Rey and Ben had devised a game that depended one throwing the ball through the bars and the ball bouncing off of the wall behind the other before they tried to catch it.   
Without being able to sense the others intentions, they had to rely on their actual reflexes which they soon discovered were very poor.   
A particularly bad bounce sent the ball ricocheting off of the cell bars and into the metal door as it was opened. Poe stepped through, flanked by four guards.   
“It’s done, we’ve reached an agreement.”  
Rey frowned nervously. “Which is?”   
“Good. It’s really good.” Poe reassured her. “Come on.” He grabbed her hand and led her gently away as the guards cuffed Ben and led him out. “He’ll be fine, I promise.”   
When he passed the barrier, Rey caught just a flicker of their bond through the energy binders. It was calm and reassuring. She calmed her own emotions to echo his.   
Poe led Rey to a large room inside the base where a small number of resistance officials were gathered. He squeezed her hand comfortingly before leaving her beside Finn and Lando and taking his own seat at the counsel table.   
Ben was led in moments later. All eyes turned to him but if it bothered him he didn’t let it show. Poe stood and cleared his throat. “The counsel has reached an agreement on the sentencing of Ben Solo, formerly known as Kylo Ren. If any member of the council wishes to move against this decision, speak now or forever hold your silence.” He glanced up and down the table. A few looked slightly disgruntled but didn’t protest now. “Okay, and with that, I pass your sentence. You are to serve the Republic for the rest of your natural life as assistant to Rey in her quest to train a new generation of Jedi to protect the galaxy.”  
Rey gasped in joy.  
“Furthermore, anyone who attacks this man will be considered an enemy of the Republic and treated as such. Gould, you can take the cuffs of now, suspense is over,”   
With the last of the blockage removed, Rey and Ben’s force bond flowed back together with a crash. They crossed the room to each other and Ben pulled Rey in close. She rested her head against his chest to hear his heartbeat, and he wove his fingers through the tangled of her hair.   
Finn sidled up beside Poe as he watched the two reunited.   
“So, you’re doing?”  
“You don’t know that.”  
“Was it?”  
“Yeah.”  
“So I did know it?”  
“Well, there was a lot of ‘what good is it to lock him up for the rest of his life’ and also a lot of ‘we can’t let him get away with not only murder, but genocide’ and I may have suggested a beneficial solution.”  
Finn chuckled.   
Ben still had Rey wrapped up against him and it looked like he wasn’t planning on letting her go anytime soon. Poe chuckled and shook his head. “Look at them, so unprofessional.”  
“Is it?” Without second thought, Finn leaned over and pecked Poe on the cheek.  
Poe jolted sideways in surprise. His eyes held a mixture of confusion, surprise, and to Finns relief, happiness.  
“Professionalism be damned.” Poe grabbed Finn by the jacket, his jacket, and pulled him in for a proper kiss.


End file.
